


Short and Venti

by Meatball42



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Languages, Meet-Cute, Other, Steve Rogers has a small dick, Underground culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-08 13:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: BuckBot has had their orbital lenses on the buff fleshling for a while, but it's not until their coworker Botasha makes an astute observation that they finally speak to their crush.





	Short and Venti

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lionessvalenti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/gifts).



> Hey lioness I'm single

“I bet he’s got a cute tiny dick.”

BuckBot looked away from the blonde patron and turned to their co-worker in consternation. Botasha gave them a perfect smile, hiding the evil hidden within her servos. “That is inappropriate workplace conversation,” they said, trying to cover up the fact that one of their internal fans had just turned on.

“No one in this neighborhood speaks Bot. They can’t even tell it’s not Russian,” Botasha pointed out. “And I’ve seen your vid download log. He’s just your type. All these big buff humans have small dicks. That’s what the internet says, anyway.”

BuckBot rolled their orbital lenses. Even as experienced as Botasha was, they doubted she’d ever seen a nude fleshling in person. Human-robot (or -synethezoid, -android, etc.) relationships weren’t common, and she usually mentioned any interesting encounters to BuckBot—whether or not they wanted to hear about them.

BuckBot glanced at the patron in question. Steve was his name. He ordered the same drink every day. He was a fleshling, so he was naturally oblivious to the dual nature of the coffee shop and ordered only off the public menu. What BuckBot would give to be able to serve him the finest organic biofuels they had in from Argentina! Instead, they had to do their best with a french press, and it was so much harder to communicate strong emotions without being able to properly manipulate the hydrogen bonds in a beverage!

Instead, BuckBot had to resort to spoken human language, which was… not their forte.

BuckBot served a perfectly brewed drink to the counter. Steve approached when BuckBot called his name, but instead of taking the beverage and leaving, the attractive fleshling leaned against the counter. BuckBot’s eyes caught on Steve’s thick biceps as they held his weight, then shot, against BuckBot’s best intentions, toward the crux of the fleshling’s legs.

“Can I—help you? Sir?” they asked awkwardly. BuckBot’s English was choppy on a normal day. When they were talking to their crush? They might as well be stuck in Talk.01 from twenty years ago.

“You know,” Steve said in perfect Bot, “you’re my type, too.”

BuckBot’s internal fans all whirred on at the same time. Steve laughed.

“I’m a programmer,” he explained. He leaned further over the counter, giving BuckBot a great view as his tight button-down strained over his chest. “I’ve had my eyes  _ and  _ ears on you for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” BuckBot asked in Bot.

“I didn’t want to be too forward. But if we’re already at the point in our relationship where our genitalia is coming up, I figured we should, you know, actually speak.”

BuckBot started making a new pot of iced hazelnut just to have something to do with their hands, which were beginning to flinch with stress-induced electricity flares.

Botasha was taking another customer at the register, but a slight twist to her perfect smile showed that she was laughing at him.

“So what do you say?” Steve asked in English. “Dinner tonight?” He flashed a gorgeous smile and BuckBot twitched, nearly knocking over a cup of stirrers. “I know a great steampunk place nearby.”

“...Okay.” BuckBot smiled tentatively. ‘Steampunk’ was an underground term for places—like the coffee shop BuckBot worked at—that catered both to humans and bots. If Steve was aware of those kinds of businesses, BuckBot could trust him not to give away their and Botasha’s secret.

“Great. Can I meet you here an hour after close?” When BuckBot nodded, Steve leaned over the counter again to speak quietly in Bot. “And hey. If you have any large genital attachments… bring them along. That way we’ll both be happy.” He winked, picked up his coffee, and slid out the door around an incoming couple.

BuckBot dropped the fresh jug of coffee from fingers that had suddenly gone off-line. Botasha ran for the mop, her laughter audible over all other noise in the shop.


End file.
